Opinion | How We Mourn Matthew Perry Matters

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• In fact, the one person Mr. Perry can’t seem to forgive, at least for a majority of his book, is himself.

• Mr. Perry’s life, by his own telling, seemed to have become, for long stretches, a manifestation of his shame, a guilty burden that he couldn’t live up to.

• We shouldn’t mourn only the loss of a talent and portray the offscreen life as a series of tragic missteps made by someone who almost literally had it all yet still couldn’t find his way to happiness.

• We shouldn’t perpetuate the myth that fame and fortune can buy someone out of despair and that our failures and mistakes are our fault alone, some freakish combination of bad wiring and bad choices.

• Mercifully, Mr. Perry seemed to figure it out eventually: to forgive yourself. And when you find forgiveness inside your own heart, suddenly, it’s everywhere else as well.