My Early Career Crisis (2014 - 2015) - Yihui Xie | 谢益辉

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• Perhaps unlike other procrastinators, I could confidently say that I didn’t waste my time. I rarely spend time on entertainment (TV, games, or parties, etc).

• thanks to whoever the genius it was to decide that the southern part of China didn’t need heating in winter a few decades ago (so we don’t have the infrastructure for heating). The temperatures outside and inside the rooms are pretty much the same.

• It was the empathy that helped me succeed. It was also the empathy that destroyed me. When I agreed to be the ICSA bulletin editor, I had good intentions. I very much wanted to free future editors from the laborious work. I just ignored the reality that I wouldn’t be able to make it in such a short time.

• My mistakes were (1) I was too satisfied and proud with the good words, and (2) I failed to realize my physical limit. I was lost in a forest of endless questions, requests, and reports.

• If you cannot kill yourself, don’t expect to rebuild yourself.

• What cured me eventually was, as shameful as it sounds, my reduced salary. As I mentioned earlier, JJ offered me a great number initially. I probably had the highest (initial) salary among all PhDs in statistics in the US. After I returned from the 2015 vacation, my salary was substantially reduced. The worst feeling in this world is probably when you go from “top” to “bottom” (e.g., healthy to sick, rich to poor, famous to unknown, and lovestruck to parted, etc). The opposite way feels much better.

• The answer turned out to be fairly simple. I just tell the company what I want to do, and they will think if the interest of the company is aligned with mine. Guess what? They have rarely said “No” to me. They value and respect my personal interests very much. Problem solved — if only I could talk to them.